Offences - too hard to carry

"A good person who gives into evil is like a muddy spring or a dirty well" Prov 25:26 (NCV)

 Like a muddied fountain and a polluted spring is a righteous man who yields, falls down, and compromises his integrity before the wicked. (AMP) 

It is so easy to take up offences, and once again, I was reminded over a recent incident when an unfounded accusation was hurled my way.  I immediately retaliated with a wall and stalked off.  It troubled me.  I had no peace.  The gramophone repeat was on and I began to entertain it by replaying it in my mind over and over.  However, it wasn't very funny.  It really was a poor imitation of entertainment.  It definitely was trashy!  I asked God why? Why did I react this way? Was there some past memory contained in my soul area that was wounded and caused so childish a reaction?

 

As with God, when He so graciously teaches us, I "happened" to read the above scripture and the Word became so clear, so confronting, so releasing as I repented before the Lord.  This was exactly how I was feeling, muddied, dirty, the swirling waters of restlessness mocking and churning up dis-ease in my mind and emotions.

 

Jesus has called us to a higher law of love.  Yet, here I was quick to take up an offence and not allow that law of love to rule and reign in me.  What a can of worms this opened up for me and the ensuing struggle between good and evil.  I can really understand the Apostle Paul's lament, "For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish." Gal 5:17 

The scripture in Proverbs brought to my remembrance another so well known:-

Anyone who believes in Me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, 'Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.'" Joh 7:38 

Wow, "rivers of living water"!  I wasn't exactly flowing with those at this moment of time.  How could I, with the river muddied from the waste water of pride-filled irritation, bring refreshing or life to any situation or person, in this present state.  I mean, they say that "Rome wasn't built in a day", yet the wall I put up was so instantaneous it would have made your head spin.  I reckon I built Rome in that split second but the trouble with walls that go up so quick is that they really look ugly especially from the inside.

   
It is obvious.  I had a choice to make.  Was I going to drop the offence as quickly as a kid caught stealing the candy, or hang on to it, and miss out on the promise of God that "living water" would flow out of my belly to bring the sweet, refreshing flow of the Spirit of Life to others instead of the carnal bondage of the flesh?  If our waters are muddied, how can we minister to others?  How can the Spirit move through us and out of us if the flow is blocked by the deeds of the flesh, "For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption." (Gal 6:8a)
   
Gal 5:19  Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,

Gal 5:20  idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies,

Gal 5:21  envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

These are the choices that we make which bring us into great bondage.  Satan's kingdom is a hard task-master, especially on our soul area where wounds are deep (and often of our own making in carrying an offence) and in our mind where restlessness reigns.  It is no wonder that the bible encourages us to choose "life" over "death".  Yet how we struggle to choose and maintain the peace that is available to us through being Spirit-led.  The fruit that the spirit yields in us, "is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law." (Gal 5:22-23)

I heard it preached that the fruit "love and self-control" are the book ends of this cluster of spiritual fruit.  Without the "love" we are not motivated to show any of this fruit to others but when we do "love" we need the self-control to operate the fruit.  It is hard when the fruit is "squeezed" and I guess when we are squeezed we see what is really in our hearts.

I was squeezed.  Severely squeezed!  And as you can see stinking pride, instead of longsuffering, kindness, goodness and gentleness, reared its ugly head, so there was no instant reconciliation but a breached friendship at that moment in time.  It wasn't a whale of a time which I would have preferred!

Hmmmm!  Reminds me that, "A little leaven leavens the whole lump". (Gal 5:9)  It was definitely a "lumpy" situation.  You know the one.  The atmosphere is so thick you need a bread knife with a sharp serrated edge to cut the lumps, especially the lump in your soul. That sneaky little temptation of holding onto an offence was reaping havoc and was becoming a crushing weight to snuff out my joy and peace.

I suppose I did show the fruit of the Spirit in my self control by not snapping back and using that knife to advantage, but my frosty reaction could have taken care of a nuclear reactor melt down.  I don't know which was worse. Somehow it didn't seem to help my dis-ease.  I wish I could have remembered at that time that "he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life".

Seriously though, I am sorry.  Really sorry that this happened and really sorry that I reacted in so childish a way!  I have repented before the Lord because I so desire that He will be able to use me.  I so desire that His power will be evident in my life.   I long to have His resurrection power, that dunamis power that is available in the Holy Spirit, change me, heal me and help me act like Jesus would act. 

Yes, the attack may not have been deserved but that is no reason to pick it up and have it wound me and allow death instead of life to reign in me.  I alone am responsible for my reaction to any offence that comes my way.  It is no wonder it is called an "of" "fence" because it truly is "off" and "of" the kingdom of darkness and has no place for children who walk in the light.

Gal 5:16  I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.

I believe in transparency before God.  What we leave in the dark, because of shame, can only grow stronger (and musty smelling too) but what we bring to the search light of the Holy Spirit can be broken and its power nullified.  I believe that we should bring things to God quickly and ask for His help in whatever area we are struggling and be quick to repent.  We are quick to take offence.  You may say, "Not me" but mediate on it.  What if a driver cuts you off in traffic?  Do you take an offence at him or her?  What if someone at the checkout is showing an "off" attitude, or you are waiting for service and the store attendant is having a good chat on the mobile phone?  Our pride quickly takes offence because we expect better service.  Oh yes.  Some offences come through the back door like the smell of freshly laid manure and are gone before we even have gone into damage control.  Our mind quickly moves on, yet unkind thoughts we have just had, or voiced, hang in the air as we breeze on to the next little offence that sparkles and tempts us to pick it up.

I love this little gem in Isa 44:22  of what Abba has done for us. "I have swept away your sins like a cloud. I have scattered your offenses like the morning mist. Oh, return to Me, for I have paid the price to set you free."

He has paid the price to set us free.  Hallelujah.  He has taken care of our offences toward Him, the sins that have wounded our souls on the cross.  Shouldn't we too, discard offences and be thankful that the Lord has forgiven us and we can forgive others?  His grace will enable us.

Gal 5:1  Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.

   
Jesus, in the gospel of John after His resurrection, visited the apostles in a closed room.   He had some great advice to give them after breathing the Holy Spirit upon them.  He said:

Whosoever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whosoever sins ye retain, they are retained.(Jn 20:23) (KJV)

Quite honestly, this scripture has really bothered me, because the only person who can forgive sins is our Heavenly Father.  We can forgive offences or sins that are committed against us but if the person repents to the Father, his/her sins will be forgiven. I looked up the meaning of whosoever and it referred to a person or object. I looked at this scripture from a different slant.  Maybe Jesus wasn't referring to a persons sin, but the sin which causes offence and which we can choose to let go (remit - to forgive, forsake, lay aside,(send) away) or we can, by our own choice, hold on to them (retain - use strength, that is, seize or retain, to keep).  If we retain the offences, as the translation says, seize them, the ill-effects of that offence will harbour great dis-ease in us.  If we do not choose to forgive, the root of bitterness will destroy our relationships and make our bodies/minds sick too.  We know that forgiveness releases the offender into God's hands and the one offended into peace.

Yes, it is hard to forgive and hard not to pick up offences, but the fruit of letting go is ample reward in following in our Saviour's footsteps and being used in the Kingdom for His purposes.

So an encouragement would be to not "grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not lose heart" (Gal 6:9).  Reaping righteousness, that's what I want.

Pro 10:12  Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offences.